awareness is angry

I probably shouldn't be writing right now.

If you have read anything I have written you probably already know that I don't think too much of this administration. I think for them to do what they do requires either some serious ignorance or significant moral shortcomings. I don't take the changes that have occurred in the last few years lightly.

But now I am seriously pissed off. Something snapped tonight, seriously snapped. I was in midtown, near the place where chris matthews is holding court, quietly protesting. I didn't have a sign, wasn't really yelling. I am generally a pretty calm fellow and don't really like losing control, but I also feel morally compelled to show my dissent, but my beef isn't with the cops, it is with the republicans. The cops are generally out doing their job and I appreciate that.

But tonight I am not so sure.

Some people jumped some barricades, and the cops wigged out and people got arrested, whatever. The cops start pushing people back from the intersection who were not doing anything, I am not ok with that. I already have problems with the way this is impeding movement around the city and if the republicans don't feel safe if people are allowed to move around freely, then they shouldn't be in the city.

So seeing reporters shoved by police officers and barricades put up and people being cordoned off and free movement impeded doesn't settle well with me. But you know what, I don't expect that much out of people, and I know with this many people upset with the assholes in madison square garden, sure folks are going to have to walk out of their way. But when a smug asshole on the police force in a white shirt comes over and moves a barricade so an old white couple dressed in a suit with their american flag regalia can cross the street, but proceeds to stop my brother, I am not a happy person any more. "Why can they go through and he can't?"

For future reference, if I ever ask you that question, the correct answer is not "Psshh, you can see the difference," and you should not deliver it with a sneer. This is when all reason leaves my brain and am screaming at the top of my lungs at a police officer.

I left shortly afterwards. I don't want to fight with the police; they aren't the enemy.

Or they weren't yesterday. I have been extremely sypathetic to their negotiations for fair contracts.

Tonight I am not.

Tonight I am the enemy and I don't matter because of how I dress, because of my politics, because of any of a million reasons. I don't have to matter to you, fine, but you don't have to matter to me either. You may not mind planting it, but you too will reap what you sow. An antagonistic public is not a fun crop for our folks in uniform. And it may have been the brass that told you to plant it, but you will get out of the field what you put in it. And you deserve to.

I am angry tonight and I am sad.