Friday, October 15, 2004

She's a what !?!? Part 2:

After looking at other folks talking about the stink about Kerry talking about Mary Cheney being a big ole' lezzie, it is interesting how sexualized all this chatter about it is. People who are only grudgingly beginning to handle the word 'gay' or can handle gay people only if they are neutered and serving society (like the Queer Eyes or your local hairdresser or priest) still have trouble desexualizing all language associated with the lifestyle.

Just a snippet from the underrated and excellent Digby:

Hullabaloo: "Apparently, the kewl kidz in the press tent all 'gasped' when Kerry used the word 'lesbian' the other night. And like their emotional role models, Beavis and Butthead, the mere mention of any word they associate with sex excited them a little bit. Because it did, and the Bush campaign sensed it, it's become one of those faux outrage dances that the media and the Republicans perform so well together."

Worth reading all of it, but I pulled this because it was addresses the root of this stupidity: 'lesbian' as an inherently sexualized word.

When I hear that someone is gay or lesbian or whatever, them having sex is usally not one of the first things I think of. Same when I hear that someone is straight.

Again, let's talk about my family for a minute. If my brother talks about his girlfriend or dating a girl, sex does not seem to flash straight into my parents head. They want to hear about her, what she does, how they met. If I talk about my boyfriend, there is this look of parental terror with the unspoken message of "We don't want to talk about your sex life!" Well, no shit; neither do I. This is the whole point in 'coming out': adding a social component to your associations with people to whom you are attracted. Having a boyfriend is not the same thing as having sex with the same person over and over. Just like being married isn't just about having sex with the same person over and over again.

Folks in our country really need to relax a little bit about sex. The funny thing is, that the people who rail against the moral decay of society and the dangers of the flesh are quite often the biggest perverts you will ever find. Not that they are running around getting laid left and right, but these are the people who immediately focus in on the sexual in anything. I have a boyfriend; their mind immediately goes to butt-sex. They use the word 'marriage' as code for 'sex'. Women are permanently objectified and sexualized in their mind and they perceive gay men as a threat for precisely the same reason: they imagine that they are being objectified and sexualized by us.

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